Life SentenceI watch the world from behind these bars that I've forged with pain and pieces of my heart. A prisoner on death row, my time is slipping quickly through my fingertips, my mind a hellish nightmare I can't escape.The world has turned it's back on me again, and it's time for me to return the favour. No one can win this struggle.I want so much to be the person that you ask of me, but my faults are just too big to hide and you can see right through this facade. I'm a monster, and I'm lonely. I want to love.But no one can get through these walls to save me now, no matter how hard they try. And it's just the way I want it to be.
Not Big Enough For Both of UsYou know she's just asking for trouble.A pile of shredded napkins beneath her trembling fingertips, a testament to just how close she is to losing the iron control that she's had for so long, needed for so long. The bar is quiet enough that she feels safe, a little unfamiliar world that is separate from all the places she's been before. The sounds of the living brush at the loneliness tightening slowly around her heart, her throat, her lungs; a terrible vice that cannot be stopped. This one, she does not belong here amongst the cheap alcohol and stale cigarette smoke. She shouldn't be staring glassy-eyed at the wall, not daring to blink and risk the flood of those ridiculous tears. So ridiculous.This one, she used to carry a spark in her eyes, a knowing smile in the corner of her mouth. She would walk with a swing to her hips and blush when somebody glanced her way. But now she's in lock down, barred against a world that has taken her innocence and kindness and left nothing but ugly
I Hate ThisIt's late, and I'm on my own again.He kissed me on the head and took the all that was left in me as he turned and walked away.I curl up in my corner surrounded by broken things, knowing that I am just like them.I think the worst part is that I wanted him to stay and help me put all the pieces back together.But it never was, and never will be.